Denial and Consequence
by Melody123
Summary: What is the consequence of Xanxus's denial? Please enjoy! XS, one-shot, adult language, sexual references


A/N: hey guys! ahh I'm so excited; my first XS. I adore XS, and this fic has been a long time coming. Seriously, I think I began writing it last year! ahh so slow. Anyway, please enjoy and REVIEW!

The Many Faces of Denial

Xanxus certainly didn't intend to walk in on his second in command Superbi Squalo in the shower. Truly. But the consequences of him doing so were many and far reaching. This was how the fateful occurrence happened:

The dark grey slate clicked sharply under Xanxus's heel as he strode purposefully down the hall. Number Three of Xanxus's personal set of 'being badass' rules was that _"one should always look like one doing something urgently important, even if one is just avoiding doing paperwork."_

Too busy concentrating on looking badass; he almost fell on his ass as his ears were assaulted by a loud screeching wail. It reminded him of that annoying brat Tsuna's constant 'HIIIIIIIIIIIIs'

_What the fuck is that infernal noise? _

The wail was very high-pitched but if Xanxus listened carefully, he could almost make out words. The accursed noise was blasting out from the western wing, which was where the so-called varia 'assassins' had their rooms.

_What's the bet the fuckers are up to something… again._

A loud crash and a piece of glass whizzing past his eye shocked Xanxus out of his thoughts of pain, punishment and resulting death for the noisy perpetrator/s. Another loud crash immediately behind the Varia boss caused him to yell (manfully) in surprise. The yell was at a pitch slightly higher than he would have liked. It wasn't quite a shriek, but it definitely wasn't badass.

The much feared Varia boss looked around wildly, and determined that none of the other trash he lived with was in the vicinity. It would never do for them to see their much feared boss to shriek like a girl. He'd already lost a lot of respect in the Mafia families since he employed Lussuria, who was at times almost too gay to function, as an elite assassin. Xanxus couldn't afford to lose more. He'd be the laughing stock of the Vongola.

The origin of the shattered glass turned out to be that the thick bluestone walls surrounding Xanxus were visibly vibrating, causing all of his shitty predecessor's oil portraits which lined the hallway to take a dive from their nails.

_Actually they look better on the floor. No more beady black eyes staring at me. I'm sure the old farts know I wasn't actually doing something important. Fuck them. Hear that, you old fuckers? FUCK YOU!_

"What the fuck is that noise?" No-one in the Varia knew that Xanxus talked to himself on the odd occasion. At least it was an intelligent conversation. Not as much could be said of the usual quality of dialogue in the castle.

_Flashback_

"_Who the hell let Lussuria do the laundry this week? VOIIIIII my leather pants are Reborn-sized!"_

"_Well the boss likes 'em tight Ushishishishishi"_

"_VOIIIII BEL YOU LITTLE ASSHOLE! GET BACK HERE!"_

_End flashback_

Xanxus strode down the vibrating hallway, heading towards to the sound. He convinced himself that the reason he as going was more interest than alarm. _However if one of those retard underlings was destroying something, they were going to pay. Big time_.

The screaming led him to a fairly innocent looking door, located near Squalo's bedroom. It honestly did sound like someone was being murdered.

_Maybe Trash has finally cracked it with one of the others retards and is in the process of homicide. I should investigate. Could be entertaining._

Xanxus regarded the door from which the sound was originating.

_I think it's a bathroom._

You would think Xanxus would know the rooms in his own castle, but they were far too numerous. His mind conjured up a lovely mental image of the white tiled room splashed in ruby-red blood, with intestines and entrails decorating the walls. A limp corpse lying dismembered in the bath. Hopefully the murderee was either Lussuria or Levi. _Crack assassins my ass._

Xanxus put his hand up to the door handle, and pushed down. The door swung open.

Xanxus looked around in surprise. The screaming could still be heard, but THERE WAS NO BLOOD! Xanxus felt bitterly disappointed. Until he noticed that the water was running in the shower.

"Trash!"

Squalo spun around and stared stupidly at Xanxus for a moment

"VOOIIIIII BOSS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?"

Squalo was obviously in the middle of shampooing his ridiculously long hair. The long silver strands were coated in froth, and most of it was piled hilariously on the top of his head like a large silver beehive.

"Bosssssss get out"

"Trash, turn off that infernal noise. I thought someone was murdering Lussuria"

"That's my favourite band's latest single!"

"Well they sound like a recorded encounter of Lussuria and Jack the fucking Ripper, so turn it off!"

Squalo turned back to the taps and switched off the water- proof radio hanging from the shower head. Suddenly, all was blessedly silent except for the water running on and around a very pissed and totally naked Superbi Squalo.

Xanxus regarded his subordinate for a moment. Squalo rather resembled a large wet albino rat. His hair, shampoo now washed out, hung in long straggly lengths down his back. In Xanxus's experience, most women he had been with looked sexy when washing their hair; wet locks swinging and dripping wet. Squalo just looked like he had had an encounter with one of those automatic machine car washes.

"Happy now?" The sarcasm was practically dripping.

_Hm the trash has quite a decent body. Considering the amount of exercise the lazyass does, he's got a good set of abs. I suppose women, if he actually knew any, would find him attractive….._

At this point, Squalo noticed that Xanxus had been staring at him for a few moments. And that he was naked.

"VOOIIIIIII Out!"

* * *

Several minutes later Squalo stalked out the door, wearing only a fluffy white towel wrapped around his waist. He stomped to Xanxus's office and whacked the door so it flew open, crashing against the wall.

"Vooii what the hell did you want?"

"Nothing trash. I was following the screaming. Generally around here, when there is screaming something entertaining is going on. I was bored. I hate fucking paperwork." Xanxus paused, and if it were possible for him to look hopeful, he would have "Actually, now you're here..."

"Nooo I'm not doing your fucking paperwork for you! I have enough of my own. Anyway, I have to brush my hair."

Squalo's lean wet body glistened in the gloom of Xanxus's office. Xanxus regarded his second-in-command with deceptively mild interest.

"You have to brush your hair?"

"Yes. It takes a long time to get it knot-less"

"GOD AM I THE ONLY STRAIGHT MAN IN THIS ENTIRE GODDAMN FUCKING CASTLE?"

Xanxus picked up a crystal tumbler and aimed for Squalo, who had the foresight (and experience) to duck the impromptu missile and shoot out the door.

"CRACK ASSASSIN SQUAD MY FUCKING ASS! MORE LIKE THE MAFIA GAY UNION!"

The sound of another lead-cut crystal tumbler hitting the now closed door alerted the rest of the Varia to steer clear of the boss for the rest of the day.

* * *

"So what got up the boss's ass?" Lussuria asked Bel that evening. They had spent the whole day creeping silently around the castle hiding from rampaging Xanxus.

"Ushishi Squalo. Who else?"

"What? Squalo did *beep beep and beep beeeeeeep on a beep* with Xanxus? Damn! What I would have given to see that!"

"ARGH! My mind! I'm scarred!" Levi fell over backwards clutching his head.

"Eww thanks for that hideous mental image" Bell ushishishi'ed.

"No Lussuria you genius. Our dear second-in-command annoyed the boss sufficiently so now we all have to creep around. God Lussuria, you have to get your mind out of the gay gutter" Fran rolled his eyes at Lussuria.

"Oh so cynical at such a young age."

* * *

Squalo loved the shower. The shower did not want anything from him. It also did not verbally abuse him, throw things at him or hit him. Unlike someone we could mention.

But said abusive asshole boss had disturbed his precious time in the shower. And Superbi Squalo decided that he was going to pay.

Squalo had always wondered if there was any way to shock his eternally unsurprised boss. The only blackmail material the Squalo had tripped over in all the years that he had worked for Xanxus was that **the boss was sure he was straight**. Squalo and the rest of the Varia weren't so sure of this (it was the conversation topic of many a drunken evening). The proof of the matter seemed to be that Xanxus was seriously bishie, rich and infamous but he had not married. He was 34 for God's sake! The theory was that if he was truly straight, he would have married some poor delicate woman and spawned some feral, abusive children for his heirs. Or at least have permanent mistresses. But the boss truly thought that he was straight, even when all other evidence pointed the other direction. _Ha! I'll show him he's not as straight as he thinks!_

_This is going to require some serious stalking._

* * *

Finally Squalo found the perfect moment to surprise his boss. The Vongola Annual Ball.

Beautiful women, silk ball gowns and champagne sparkled for the biggest night of the Vongola calendar. It was held in the Grand Ballroom in the Vongola mansion on August 17th every year without fail. And by God, Tsuna would not break the tradition just because he was slightly scared of the Varia.

The night was clear and beautiful; it appeared all the stars had come out for the occasion. The night was even so important that friendly Famiglia had been invited as well. Luckily Tsuna could not afford to aggravate the Varia by not inviting them, so they had been sent a reluctant invite over _email_. No fancy expensive envelopes for the Varia.

All the Varia were well turned out for the black-tie night, however Bel was still wearing his tiara, and Fran still had the frog-head on having been stabbed by a stiletto when he tried to take it off. They arrived in an enormous black Hummer, looking exceedingly badass. That was just how Xanxus liked it. Gokudera, Yamamoto, Tsuna and Reborn met them at the door, but Xanxus just swept past them with a glare that would have melted stone. Gokudera caught Lussuria by the arm on his way past.

"You dare to even scratch your ass in there, and I will personally eliminate you" Gokudera growled.

"Oh darling, I never itch in public!" Lussuria smiled and pranced past him through the door, leaving Gokudera sputtering from a well aimed flick to the face from a pink feather boa.

Within half an hour, Bel and Levi were well on their way to singing bawdy songs stark naked. Xanxus was slouching in a corner, glaring at anyone who came within 5 metres of his person, and Fran was discussing illusion stuff with Mukuro and Chrome. Squalo however, was busy planning his final attack. He just had to get Xanxus slightly more drunk. Then it would be time to put the master plan into action.

"Hey bossu, want a beer?" Squalo wandered up to Xanxus, who was trying to burn a hole in the dance floor with his eyes.

"Trash, do I ever drink beer?" Xanxus didn't even bother to look up. "Get me tequila. No fucking water or ice"

Squalo huffed, pretending to be annoyed. "Voiii, why can't you just drink the beer? I've already got it here!" He held out the glass.

"WHAT DID I JUST SAY? FUCKING HELL! Trash, if you won't get it I'll get myself!" Xanxus smacked the glass away, and stormed over to the bar.

Squalo could hear his demands from across the large ballroom. It went something like "TEQUILA! Now! No no no fucking water! OR ICE! BLOODY HELL GIVE IT HERE!"

And so Xanxus stomped back with the bottle of tequila, narrowly missing a waltzing couple on the dance floor.

_Good. Exactly the reaction I wanted. _

Xanxus continued back his corner, going slightly out of his way to shove Squalo on the way past.

"Hey bossu, I think they have a cellar out the back…. That tequila looks substandard. It would be just like the brat to put his shit liquor out for consumption….."

"Bloody brat. Where?" Xanxus was just starting to slur his words a little, having already had a few slugs of the "substandard" liquor.

"Just over there." Squalo pointed towards the opposite door. Everything was going swimmingly.

Xanxus roared and started stomping over to the door with Squalo trailing behind him. Suddenly moving in front of his boss, right under the enormous chandelier with guests looking at them in complete shock, Squalo pressed his lips against Xanxus's. Xanxus smelled like leather, tequila and musk.

The faces of the surrounding guests were stunning; their collective eyes bulging, and the men with their jaws practically resting on the floor at the sight of two tuxedoed men kissing. Gokudera was practically blue with shock and Tsuna was gaping like a fish out of water.

Pity Xanxus ruined the moment by smashing Squalo over the head with his bottle of tequila.

"Trash" Xanxus growled in a threatening tone "I am going to kill you". But suddenly Xanxus had drunken brainwave. _I haven't had any for ages. If he wants it, let him have it. muwahahaha._

"Actually, I've changed my mind. Since you look so much like a girl, let's see if you ARE one"

Squalo paled. _Oh shit. I hadn't thought of this._

Xanxus grabbed Squalo by his long silver hair, and dragged him towards the 'cellar', where yelling of varying intensities could be heard for the next 10 minutes, after which a very awkward silence fell.

* * *

Xanxus walked out of the 'cellar' in a very relaxed mood. He wandered over to the bar and grabbed a crystal tumbler and poured himself a generous whiskey, whilst every guest followed him with their eyes. The glass was slammed back onto the bar. Suddenly the room broke into a muted whisper.

Xanxus stalked through the crowded room reaching the door to the outside. Tsuna paled with every step Xanxus took.

"I'm leaving. When my trash second in command feels like getting up, tell him to take the bus"

And with that, Xanxus made his epic exit.

* * *

Squalo staggered out a few hours later, and Tsuna sent Hibari to give him Xanxus's message. The reaction was spectacular, and violent. After smashing up a total of 3 chairs, a table, 5 priceless antique paintings and a Ming Dynasty vase, Squalo made his slightly less epic exit.

And that was the consequence of Xanxus walking in on Squalo in the shower. From then on, Xanxus was very happy to drag Squalo (usually by his hair) upstairs after dinner, Squalo kicking and screaming the entire way.


End file.
